My Super Mom

My Mother was the youngest of three sisters and grew up in an affectionate extended family in West Bengal where everyone wanted to help and support her. Predictably, one day, she had to  leave her father’s home to get married. In March 1967, she married my father, an Air Force Officer who took her to his home in Belgaum, 2000 kms away from Calcutta and she had set up and managed home initially for the two of them. Over the next 13 years as typically of the life an Air Force Officer’s wife she kept moving with her husband from place to place as per the Air Force postings. Along the way she gave birth to two sons and brought them up.

In 1980 my father was posted to New Delhi and it was felt that there was need for some additional income in the family and Delhi also offered opportunities for my mother. My mother took up the challenge and first she undertook nursery training and got a job as a Nursery teacher. She later completed her B.Ed. to get a job as a fulltime teacher in Air Force Bal Bharti School. It was truly an accomplishment for her to undertake studies at the age of 40 and start working at this late age, having never worked at all. As typical of all working moms, she would wake up early, prepare food for all of us and then board her bus to take her to school.

In September 2010, very suddenly my father was diagnosed with lung cancer and succumbed to a botched up operation within 2 months. While I was with my father during his operation and later during the funeral and mourning, but I had to get back to my new job, which I had just joined a month back. Despite the fact that I couldn’t do help much initially, my mother handled all the tasks that enabled her to live by herself after the loss of her husband.

As mentioned initially, being the youngest sister, my mother’s parents and her elder sisters always looked upon her as a little girl who needed to be helped, but by looking after herself in various circumstances of life, she has proved herself to be a true heroine.

killer songs on youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cprez2G15LI&list=RDyb4oCde7Zqs

London Thumkada lyrics

http://www.bollymeaning.com/2014/02/poora-london-thumakda-lyrics.html

Online Rape Map of India

Looks like under reporting of cases in Uttar Pradesh, Bihar and Maharashtra

Source
http://blogs.wsj.com/indiarealtime/2013/01/03/a-rape-map-of-india/

IAS officer who became a Monk by Shailaja Chandra - one of my favourite writers

http://www.gfilesindia.com/MobileArtDetails.aspx?id=825&Name=IAS%20officer%20who%20became%20a%20monk!

 had heard of civil servants doing extraordinary things, but becoming a full-time servant of God was exceptional. This, then, is the story of an IAS officer who became a monk! He is today the vice-president of the Divine Life Society with its headquarters at the Sivananda Ashram in Rishikesh. I wondered how monkhood could offer the same satisfaction as making and implementing policy at the national or State-level. How difficult was it to abandon the unquestioned authority he must have once enjoyed in exchange for continuous communication with God?

I had hazy recollections of a batchmate, Sunil Patnaik, when we were doubts? Did he feel up to facing celibacy forever? 

Unlike all the people I have interviewed, Swamiji read each question and answered it exactly to the point. But the flip side was that he did not offer a single extra word from his side. I, therefore, had to ask a variety of persons to fill in the blanks.

Facebook - my year in review

https://www.facebook.com/yearinreview/anirmukerji

Work Life Strategies that really matter

Every year for the last decade, I’ve spoken to MBA graduates returning for their one-year reunions. As predictable as the annual return of swallows to San Juan Capistrano, graduates who flock back to campus bring with them real-world anxiety over three things:

1) Work – doing meaningful work;

2) Companionship – finding a life partner, or figuring out life with their partner; and

3) Balance – dividing time and energy between work and family

This weekend, my own business school class marks its 40-year reunion, and the issues won’t have changed much. While for many of us, life’s ups and downs may have rounded off the sharp edges on those same apprehensions, they remain the struggles of our lives.

If any of us in the class of ‘73 has had success in four decades of dealing with these existential concerns, it’s because we recognized the truth of the following:

You can’t do it all yourself. Those who’ve done well will likely have one significant quality in common: They’ll have joined (or formed) the right teams. After picking the best players, they’ll have shared their own successes, and celebrated the successes of others. As Chicago Bulls coach Phil Jackson advised a young and wildly-talented Michael Jordan, “Let the game come to you." After Jordan committed to being a team player (though not always as the nice-guy), the Bulls won six NBA World Championships. In the same way, realizing that both business and family life are “team sports” will help with finding a team-centered life.

Life is a marathon. A meteoric rise right after grad school is impressive, but long-term success is far more satisfying. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Quick success sometimes goes to people’s heads – and makes them forget everyone who helped them get where they are. In the 1980s, after good fortune and good times made many folks wealthy, real estate markets collapsed. Some panicked; others dug in -- and dug out. It turned out that no one was as smart as they thought on the way up (or quite as dumb as others thought on the way down). But steadfast efforts when the chips were down revealed character not apparent when things were going well.

Bouncing back is key. Scanning reunions for grads once deemed “most likely to succeed” may not reveal the ones who did. Brains and ambition help, but it’s a never-say-die resiliency that allows people to move forward through life’s inevitable setbacks. “Most Likely To Bounce Back After A Fall” might have been a better yearbook category.

Give before you get. Real friends give without calculating a return on their friendship. So do spouses. Even salespeople first give information and authentic assurances in order to make sales. And while children require that you give, give, and give some more, they can return something far more valuable than you ever gave them — the chance to pass on the best of what you know, and the best of who you are, to the next generation. We end up caring about things for which we sacrifice. So, finding opportunities for giving goes a long way to relieving personal and career anxieties – which can be rooted in the desire to get before we give.

Don't underestimate refuge and recovery. I’ve never met a career-driven person who’s found peace in work alone. You need a space for refuge – a way to be alone, to recreate, and to recover; or things can go south. Letdowns are inevitable; so make sure you meditate, pray, stay active, or have a close friend in whom you can confide. Making sure you have the time and place and support for recovery is not selfish. It’s essential.

Wealth, power, fame and influence – perhaps all well and good – don’t reliably deliver satisfaction or meaning in life. I submit that meaning comes from the ability to look back with pride, and to look forward with peace, knowing that those we’ve worked with and cared for are better off for having known us. If recent graduates could be sure of these, they might choose to live with their team in mind.

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